You are a real insect guru if…

…you only buy sausage salad from the butcher to get the breeding box

…you refer to your pubescent son as a “subadult buck”

…you only allow your 3 children one room – to test species compatibility

…you give your children their school lunches in a Faunabox

…you are happy about regular “poops”

…you have to keep reassuring your girlfriend: “No, that’s not one of my insects”

…you don’t swat annoying mosquitoes to death in the kitchen, but instead guide them to their actual destination

…you fly away on vacation to rest and relax, but then run after every insect

… the money in your account is getting less and less, but the number of residents in your apartment is steadily increasing

… the visit to the next terrarium fair is booked as a family outing

…the visitor wants to crush an escaped insect on the floor because he thinks it’s vermin and you shout: “Stop! They’re hard to breed!”

…you are told that someone has problems with severe aphid infestation and instead of comforting them, you ask: “Can I have these?”

…you get told “you’re disgusting!” and you respond with “it was already dead before I froze it”

…your girlfriend sits in the terrarium in the hope of getting more attention

… your pharmacy has to place a special order for stool sample tubes in the fall

… you also annoy your pharmacy with other dubious requests

… you don’t call your 18th birthday an age of majority, you call it maturing

… the blackberry bushes in the garden are sprouting properly thanks to your weekly pruning

… the television has become completely superfluous for you

…you pay the hordes of children in your neighborhood to catch locusts and at the same time get angry about child labor in India

…you find the question “Why do you keep insects” somehow strange and superfluous

… you can no longer buy frozen products because the freezer is full of frozen food

… you actually got up early and are still 15 minutes late for work again because the morning view of your hobby room was so captivating

…you keep buying baby food even though you don’t have children

…you check everything you see in the DIY store for suitability for terrariums

…you convert everything that is not suitable for the terrarium in your head

…you receive chirping mail

…you ask yourself every time you walk through the apartment whether all the furniture is really still needed

…you spend days drilling holes in plastic boxes

…you come back from a relaxed walk laden with branches and stones

…you buy all the healthy fruits but only the cigarettes are for you

…you only smile when someone asks: ”Ewwww, are they slippery?

…you are listed as an industrial customer by your electricity supplier

…the care of your animals is the top priority when planning your vacation

… you are visiting a couple of friends whose child has just fallen ill and you first ask about husbandry parameters such as humidity, temperature and flooring in the child’s room

…you see your colleague’s home furnishings as a waste of space

…you think about force-feeding if your child doesn’t want to eat

…you are asked by a beautiful woman to help her open her dress and you think of skinning help

…the neighbor has cockroaches in the apartment and you ask: “Can I have them?

…you as a man buy tights in multipacks

…you can unmask the evil poisonous snake as a Sinaloa milk snake when you go to the movies

…you can’t understand how you can be disgusted by cockroaches

…you eagerly breed insects by the kilogram, which are beaten to death by others

…you can always find a place for a terrarium somewhere

…you enjoy the climate in the middle of winter topless and in shorts in your apartment

…you encourage everyone you know to pick up toilet rolls and egg cartons

…you don’t believe yourself when you say: “So…complete…there are no more animals”

…you are afraid of moving house

…trachycephalus, cyaneopubescens, phyllium or similar words are part of your everyday vocabulary

…you buy your pet food at the health food store and only cover your own needs at the discount store

…the cashier at Ikea gives you a dirty look because you come along with 50 drawers that are intended as storage space for children’s rooms

…you say to yourself every day: “Tomorrow I’ll do something about the cable clutter!

…you ghost through the apartment in the middle of the night, armed with a flashlight

…you have to lie when the little child asks you where the sweet fruit flies have gone

…you no longer divide your home into rooms, but into climate zones

…if you are constantly thinking about whether plastic boxes are “woodlouse-suitable”

…when your visitor is surprised that the decoration lives on the living room shelf

…when you realize that the animals do not live with you but you live with the animals

…if you are constantly mixing banana paste to feed “the little ones” properly, but are childless

…when you smile and nod in the supermarket when the cashier asks: “For the rabbits?”

 

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